MediaSmarts has been developing digital and media literacy programs and resources for Canadian homes, schools and communities since 1996. Through our work we support adults with information and tools so they can help children and teens develop the critical thinking skills they need for interacting with the media they love.
The Sexual Violence Prevention Toolkit created by the TriCounty Women’s Centre is a compendium of resources including movie and video recommendations, activities, workshops, websites, and community resources. A kit is available to borrow through Second Story Women’s Centre, including films on DVD: Sext Up Kids (CBC Doc Zone), Sexy Inc. (nfb.ca), Shredded (nfb.ca), The Colour of Beauty (nfb.ca), Dreamworlds, Miss Representation, and Generation.
Positive Action is an educational program featuring a series of scripted lessons for Pre-K through grade 12. Lessons teach and reinforce the intuitive philosophy that you feel good about yourself when you do positive actions. The program teaches actions for the physical, intellectual, social, and emotional areas of the self.
The Antigonish Women's Resource Centre and Sexual Assault Services Association has an excellent Healthy Relationships for Youth Curriculum for Grade 9. Developed by Antigonish Women’s Resource Centre and highly evaluated by the Canadian Women’s Foundation (funder), it is co-taught by Grade 10, 11, and 12 students. Second Story Women’s Centre has been delivering the HRY program in Lunenburg and Queens county schools. To learn more, contact them directly.
The RespectED Program from the Canadian Red Cross teaches kids and adults how healthy relationships look and feel, as well as violence/abuse prevention. For the complete curriculum, go to their website or contact SchoolsPlus.
Expect Respect: A School-Based Program for Preventing Teen Dating Violence and Promoting Safe and Healthy Relationships by Barbara Ball and Barri Rosenbluth (2008)
Forest Heights Schools is currently using the Voices Program, purchased by Schools Plus, about self discovery and empowerment for girls.
The Healthy Sexuality Resource (Grade 7) from the Nova Scotia Department of Health and Wellness includes information about sexual violence and how to recognize power imbalances in relationships.
“What can men and boys do to end gender-based violence?”
It’s that darn question again, the one that well-intended people ask without recognizing the assumption of exclusivity behind it. It’s a question I have come to both anticipate when I talk to people about the book I co-wrote, Hey, Shorty!: A Guide to Combating Sexual Harassment and Violence in Schools and on the Streets, yet I still find myself wincing a bit when it is asked.
I don’t blame the interrogator for proposing such an inquiry. I blame the social construction of gender-based violence, and those it affects, as a “women’s issue” for this question’s ubiquity. And truly, I’d rather it be asked than ignored.
My pat answer to the question is this: men and boys are already involved in and leading efforts to end gender-based violence, and more are joining the ranks of gender justice activism every day. Gay, bisexual, queer, and transmen have been struggling with heterosexist and homophobic violence for as long as women have spoken out about their own unique brand of misogynist hostility. And these same men and boys have been creating their own solutions too. But one need not be LGBTQ to have a history with gendered cruelty; straight male victims of domestic violence, intimate partner abuse, and incest have long suffered at the hands of fathers, boyfriends, uncles, and cousins. They have been impotent witnesses to women’s and girls’ suffering, and strong allies in fighting back.
For reasons such as these, it is important to unearth the hidden resistance to gender-based violence that has been developed and directed by men. This is a critical part of broadening the definition of who is affected by this issue, and moving from a model where men are assumed to be deficits in the work to one where they are assets to a comprehensive and inclusive anti-violence movement that is able to meet everyone’s distinct needs.
Byron Hurt’s documentary Beyond Beats and Rhymes is one of the most useful tools I’ve come across for deconstructing masculinity, sexism, violence and homophobia in today’s hip-hop culture. Instead of taking the traditional route of blaming a vaguely defined and erroneously homogeneous hip-hop culture for women’s degradation, Hurt focuses the discussion squarely on the individual men who participate in creating a limited conception of black masculinity that limits both men and women. He does so by featuring interviews with men and women who create and consume in hip-hop in various capacities, and puts the responsibility on men for developing solutions to eradicate violence. In addition to this award-winning film, Hurt has nearly twenty years of male-to-male gender-based violence prevention work under his belt, with a concentration on hyper-masculine spaces like professional athletics and the military.
Since 1997, Men Can Stop Rape (MCSR) has been a leader in redefining ideas about strength and masculinity, and establishing new socio-cultural norms for boys and men that do not rely on violence and domination. Although they do some direct service work with boys and men, the focus of MCSR is on training already established organizations on how to implement the MCSR program model to educate and mobilize their own communities. The model is used in universities, nonprofit organizations, and government agencies to unpack traditional masculinity, identify a range of healthy gender expressions for boys and men, explore the intersection of gender role expectations and rape culture, discuss male survival of and healing from sexual assault, connect sexism to other oppressions (e.g., homophobia and racism), and consider how to be better allies to women and girls. After the training, MCSR staff continues to support service providers with technical assistance and resources as they implement the program with boys and men of all ages.
Imagine what the world would look like if we no longer framed discussions about sex and sexuality from the standpoint of what people, especially youth, don’t like or shouldn’t be doing, but instead approached them from a place of what makes us happy and feels good. This is exactly what Coalition for Positive Sexuality does with their “Just Say Yes!” (or “Di Que Si!”) brochures and online forums for teens of all genders and sexualities. In an abstinence-only nation, models for positive sexuality are scarce, but a comprehensive approach to sex education that validates the diversity among and within gender, sexual identities, and expressions can help intimate partners recognize, name, and fulfill authentic desires and pleasure. At present sex, sexuality, and relationships are largely constructed as sites of risk and safety, which establishes a predator/prey dynamic among the people involved. Coalition for Positive Sexuality encourages openness, exploration, choice, respect, and enthusiastic consent in a language that is inclusive and reflective of youth culture.
A core element of Brotherhood/Sister Sol’s multi-year youth development program for black and Latino men and boys ages 6 to 22 years old is a commitment to deconstruct sexism and misogyny, promote sexual education and socially responsible relationships, and reduce gender bias. Its aim is to use a strengths perspective to empower black and Latino youth to develop into critical thinkers and community leaders. They do so in a neighbourhood plagued by the challenges of poverty, such as drug use, lack of affordable housing, overcrowded schools, and environmental toxicity. Using a combination of mentoring and community organizing, Brotherhood/Sister Sol participants are given the space and guidance to question rigid standards of masculinity and femininity and promote a new ideal amongst their peers.
Media scholar Robert Jensen uses personal anecdotes along with academic research to build upon the work of radical anti-pornography feminists and argue that men who consume pornography are robbing themselves, and women, of authentic sexual pleasure and their humanity. He criticizes the way masculinity is used as a tool of dominion over women and men, and advocates charting new terrain in the 21st century that goes beyond paternalistic protection notions of gender equality. Jensen actively tours North America speaking to audiences about destructive masculinity and sexual commodification.
During the years I worked with Girls for Gender Equity, there was one request I received from parents more than any other: when will you begin a program like this for boys? Luckily, I had a local resource to refer them to – The Boys Project. Developed in three age cohorts – elementary, middle, and high school – the program provides a trusted adult and an accepting boy-only environment in which young men can examine the unhealthy messages boys internalize about gender, connect social expectations to changing physiology and psychology throughout adolescence, develop an understanding of sexual harassment and violence (including LGBTQ bullying and boy-on-boy abuse), and challenge gender norms in their own personal growth and development. The Boys Project runs in schools and community-based organizations in tandem with The Girls Project so that the program participants can reinforce each other’s understanding.
In collaboration with Men’s Resources International, Ebonyi Men’s Resource Center (EMRC) in Nigeria was started to identify ways men can partner with women to end gender-based violence. Among the goals of EMRC is the establishment of a group of men with social capital who can intervene in situations of domestic violence and change social attitudes men hold that perpetuate violence against women and children. Once the program has proven successful, EMRC will send male delegates to other organizations to help them to replicate the model and build an African men’s network for violence prevention and positive masculinity.
A project of Transgender Europe, Transrespect Versus Transphobia Worldwide (TVT) is a comparative global study of gender-based violence experienced by trans people from Afghanistan to Macedonia to Zimbabwe. Led by researchers Carsten Balzer and Jan Simon Hutta, TVT monitors reported murders of trans people, maps the legal systems of each country, and examines the legal and social structures of the societies to determine best practices and recommendations for human rights organizations, governmental institutions, the public, and trans activists who advocate an end to gender-based violence and discrimination. This list is nowhere near comprehensive. But it is a place where we can begin to expand our ideas about where people are positioned in anti-violence and gender justice work, so that perhaps in the future the question will no longer be “what can boys and men do” but “how can I be a part of creating social change?”
Mandy Van Deven is an internationally published writer, progressive activist, and co-author of Hey, Shorty!: A Guide to Combating Sexual Harassment and Violence in Schools and on the Streets. You can find more about her work at www.mandyvandeven.com.
Mentoring Boys is a site to develop caring, courageous and ethical men
Men Stopping Violence works locally, nationally, and internationally to dismantle belief systems, social structures, and institutional practices that oppress women and children and dehumanize men themselves
White Ribbon: Education for boys/men
Men's Sheds Australia (from David Hatfield)
Ring the Bell: One Million men, one million promises
Stop Violence: Men Working to End Battering, Rape & Sexism
The Fatherhood Institute’s vision is a society that gives all children a strong and positive relationship with their father and any father figures; supports both mothers and fathers as earners and careers; and prepares boys and girls for a future shared role in caring for children.
Men Engage: boys and men for gender equality is a global alliance of NGOs and UN agencies that seeks to engage boys and men to achieve gender equality.
Man Making: The Ancient Call: For thousands of years, in cultures around the world, guiding young males toward a solid and responsible manhood was men’s sacred work. Today, too many men are not answering this man-making call. The result is an epidemic of lost, damaged, and under-male-nourished boys.
Men 4 Change Violence Prevention Curriculum
Centre For Health and Social Justice: Promote human development, gender equality, human rights and social. Challenging patriarchy and working towards gender equality is an integral part of CHSJ's mission, working with men and boys to understand their privileges as well as the compulsions that they face within a patriarchal system.
Cariman is a community of caring men, committed to partnering with women to create a just world where all people achieve their fullest potential.
PROMUNDO is a Brazilian-based organization with a mission to promote caring, non-violent and equitable masculinities and gender relations in Brazil and internationally; engaging women, girls, boys, and men to transform gender norms and power relations within key institutions where these norms are constructed. An applied research institute that works to test, evaluate and advocate for policies and programs that transform masculinities. Download a Facilitation Guide here.
The Don't Be That Guy Campaign by Halifax Regional Police
It’s a Man’s World: a documentary on gang rape around the world
Tony Porter’s The Man Box: A Call to Men Everywhere
Shane Koyczan’s For the Bullied and Beautiful
In the age of Internet porn, teaching boys to be good men —The Globe and Mail
Men who kick down doors: Tyrants at home and abroad —TruthOut
There are many kinds of abusive/violent relationships, which involve individuals of many different backgrounds (gender, race, age, economic status, sexual orientation, religion). It is also possible to be in an abusive/violent relationship with other individuals, such as family members, friends, landlords, or employers.
The following are some of the signs of being in an abusive/violent relationship with an intimate partner but may also apply to other kinds of relationships:
You got very serious about your relationship very quickly. For example, your partner told you they loved you and/or you moved in together or got engaged and/or you were pressured into a serious commitment very quickly.
Your partner has a tendency to come on very strongly and may be extremely charming and/or a 'smooth talker'.
Your partner Is extremely jealous.
Your partner isolates you from your support systems. For example, they want you all to themselves and they try to keep you away from your family and/or friends and/or outside activities.
Your partner attempts to control what you wear, what you do and/or who you see.
Your partner is abusive towards other people (especially their mother or sisters if your partner is male).
Your partner blames others for their own misbehaviour or failures (someone else is always to blame).
Your partner abuses drugs or alcohol.
Your partner has unrealistic expectations. For example, they expect you to meet all of their needs and to be the "perfect" partner and/or mother if there are children involved.
Your partner is overly sensitive. For example, your partner acts 'hurt' when they are not getting their own way, takes offence when others disagree with their opinion and/or gets very upset at small inconveniences that are just a normal part of life.
Your partner has been/is cruel to animals.
Your partner has been/is abusive towards children.
Your partner has hit either another partner or you in the past.
Your partner has threatened violence — even if it wasn't a 'serious' threat.
Your partner calls you names, puts you down and/or curses at you.
Your partner is extremely moody. For example, they switch quickly from being very nice to exploding in anger.
If your partner is a male, they believe women are inferior to men and should obey them.
Your partner intimidates you or others. For example, they use threatening body language, punch walls and/or break objects.
Your partner holds you against your will to keep you from walking away or leaving the room.
Your partner was abused by a parent or someone they trusted.
Your partner grew up in a home where an adult was abused by another adult.
Please Note: Numbers 20 & 21 on this list do not necessarily indicate a person will be abusive. The majority of children who grow up in abusive homes choose not to be abusive as adults. However, these children still have a higher likelihood than other children of growing up to be involved in abusive relationships. These factors should be considered with other factors.
Source: Harbour House website. Adapted from The Relationship Workbook.
